Current Mood: hopeful

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday I went to Duke at the completion of my second round of Sutent. They poked and prodded and scanned and measured to see how the medicine is working for me. Unfortunately, it isn’t. I have a small new lesion in my head and most of the tumors in my chest have grown.

I will schedule SRS (Stereotactic Radio Surgery) as soon as possible to take care of the new brain tumor since I won’t be able to start any other medication until it’s treated. I have an appointment to see the doctor at Duke on December 1^st to figure out plan B (or is this plan C?).

How Are We Doing?

Those of you that voted for my manifesto proposal at Change This; thank you very much. I had an OSM (oh sh*t moment) on Tuesday of this week. The folks at Change This contacted me and said write your manifesto, for which I am incredibly grateful to those of you who voted and terribly excited for the opportunity. Then they said have it to us by December 1^st; that’s where the OSM came in.

Oh, and did I mention that we have over two dozen family and friends coming to celebrate Thanksgiving with us? Things are going to be hopping the next couple of weeks.

As we approach this time of year, I’ve been pondering about all we have to be grateful for. The list is long. The grace of God, the love of family, the warmth of friends, the ability to give back and make a difference, the opportunity to live in arguably the greatest country on earth and the hope and promise of the future. I could go on.

The point is; we are all incredibly blessed. For me personally, I’ve always appreciated what I’ve been given, but now, after the events of the last few months, I’ve come to realize what a gift it all is. I am so fortunate and so humbled.

Happy Thanksgiving

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I'll get them added. 

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I've archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own well being.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I'd love to try and be a resource to you.

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I'll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do?

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you're inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I'll send an update after my next trip to Duke in early December.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: grateful

Current Mood: cheerful

In my work I’ve always done a ton of reading. Business (especially Marketing) books, magazines, newsletters, ezines, blogs, etc., in an effort to keep up with the current thought(s) on what it takes to succeed in the marketplace.

Since I’ve been unable to work, while I still do the reading, I’m limited on who/how I can impart all my newfound ideas (the dog just looks at me as if to say; “when’s lunch?”).

Then I remembered Change This. Change This is a website that publishes manifestos. Some of the biggest thought leaders in the world of business today have contributed. Manifestos have been published on the site by Tom Peters, Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, P.J. O’Rourke, Guy Kawasaki, Ben Connell and Jackie Huba.

If you have an idea that you think brings a fresh perspective, offers a new way of looking at things, changes the game, then you submit a proposal for a manifesto. If their editorial review staff thinks your concept is worthwhile, they put your proposal on the website for the public to vote on it. The proposal submitters that garner a significant number of votes are invited to complete their manifestos for publication on the site.

The manifesto is then available for download for free from the site. That’s right; for free. The idea is not to make money; the idea is to spread ideas that can make a difference.

So I thought I would write a manifesto. Just to give me a creative outlet as I am working to find a cure for my illness. I submitted a proposal and low and behold it was accepted. It was posted on the web on October 11^th. So far it’s done pretty good in terms of votes.

But I could use your help. In order to be invited to write the manifesto I need to make sure I have enough votes. I would appreciate it if you would go the website and check out my proposal as well as the others. If you think it would make for worthwhile reading I would be grateful if you voted for it.

The web address is www.changethis.com. Once you get to the main page scroll down. Click on the words “manifesto proposals”. There will be a list of all current proposals. The name of mine is “It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way”. Click on the title and it will take you to the full proposal and the opportunity to vote for it.

It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes; and if you don’t feel it’s a worthwhile project, then please don’t feel obligated. But I wanted to expose the proposal to as wide an audience as possible to give it “my best shot” so to speak

Thanks for taking the time to consider this. I’m back on the medicine this Thursday and Lord willing the healing will continue.

Have a great week!

Current Mood: excited

Dear Friends and Family,

I finished the first round of Sutent last Thursday. I get a two week break and then I start the next round. I’m hopeful the side effects will abate (especially the bad taste in my mouth) so I can enjoy at least a couple of good meals (with wine of course!) before I start the next round.

A lot of folks have asked me how long I’ll be on this stuff. The short answer is I don’t know, but I hope for quite a while. The drug has shown great success with controlling the disease (either stalling tumor growth or actually shrinking tumors) but is not a cure. As I’ve shared in the past, cures for this particular type of cancer are few and far between. What I hope is I can get what they call “progression free survival” for a while to buy me time. There is a lot of exciting research starting to happen and the longer I can keep things in check the better my chances of finding a way to beat this.

After I complete the next course of Sutent; they’ll do new scans to see how it’s working for me.

How Are We Doing?

My mom had her surgery and is back at home in considerably better spirits. I’m sure she’ll be back on her feet soon and I appreciate all of your prayers.

I had an interesting conversation with my brother in law a couple of weeks ago. In essence, he wanted to know, how in the world am I dealing with all this? I haven’t broken down, I’m not cowering in fear, and I’m not railing against the unfairness of it all. What is sustaining me through this time of trial in my life? When I shared my answer with him; he encouraged me to share it with you.

Six months ago when a worried ER doctor had the unenviable job of telling me I had cancer, a strange calm came over me. Well then I thought; here’s a challenge I wasn’t expecting. I resolved to fight it with everything I could muster. But I was never cowed by the enormity of it.

I haven’t felt overwhelmed by this burden because I haven’t had to carry it alone. I believe in God and his Son Jesus Christ, and in my salvation through

Grace because I could never do enough or be enough to earn my way into heaven.

To me the essence of faith is believing in things beyond our understanding. I could choose to doubt God because of all the pain and suffering in the world; because of what is happening to me. But I believe God never gives us more than we can handle and when the pain or the fear grips me; I always find solace in my prayers. God’s love has strengthened me and no matter the circumstances; his Grace is sufficient.

No where is this more evident than in the manifestation of that love through his people. The outpouring of care and support we have received from people, including many I don’t even know has been incredible and humbling. The prayers, the hugs, the sincere best wishes. Through them we’ve felt truly embraced by God’s love.

Other manifestations of that are evident all over in the way people have responded to the victims of the recent hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis. God’s people are always at the front lines wrapping their arms around those in need to offer comfort, hope, and most of all, love.

So in answer to my brother in law’s question (and perhaps yours), I’ve been able to deal with this because I’ve had help (you might call it “divine intervention”).

As a reminder, if you haven’t already; please email me your mailing address.

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I’ll get them added. 

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I’ve archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own wellbeing.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I’d love to try and be a resource to you.

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I’ll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do?

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you’re inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I’ll send an update in a couple of weeks after my next trip to Duke.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: content

Dear Friends and Family,

Well; I’m a little over half-way through the first course of Sutent (day 18 of 28) and so far so good. Some side effects showed up about a week into it. They are annoying but tolerable; the stuff is hard on my stomach and I have some fatigue. The most annoying thing is a non-stop metallic/syrupy taste in my mouth that makes everything taste like crap (or at least what I would imagine crap tastes like). But as I said; tolerable, and if I get some results from the drug, then it’s definitely worth the discomfort.

How Are We Doing?

Please keep my mom in your prayers as she continues to struggle with her hip. She has surgery scheduled to redo it in a couple of weeks.

I’m starting to see signs of my hair coming back. Wouldn’t you know it; the first place it started coming back in full force was in my ears (sigh).

As a reminder, if you haven’t already; please email me your mailing address.

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I’ll get them added. 

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I’ve archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own wellbeing.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I’d love to try and be a resource to you.

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I’ll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do?

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you’re inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I’ll send an update in a couple of weeks after my next trip to Duke.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: hungry

Dear Friends and Family,

I’m on drugs! And this time; it’s legal! (just kidding Mom). I went to Duke last week and was enrolled on the compassionate use trial for Sutent from Pfizer. I started taking the drug last Friday. The regimen is a pill I take once day for 4 weeks, rest for 2 weeks, and then start over.

The side effects vary greatly based on the individual but so far mine have been negligible. At the end of the second course (roughly 10 weeks from now) I will get new scans, etc., to measure how it’s working. In the meantime I’m just trying to stay strong and be prepared to manage whatever side effects come along.

I’ve been fortunate to have found some great caring doctors and nowhere is this more evident than with Dr. George at Duke. If he hadn’t gone to bat for me at Pfizer I’d still be waiting to start something. It has honestly been a little frustrating to have been diagnosed almost six months ago but to have not been able to start on anything to treat the disease because of other complications.

How Are We Doing?

We’re fine and I’m obviously encouraged about the drug trial. It doesn’t seem like fall; but with school well under way and high school football being a big part of our lives we know it’s so.

Please say a little prayer for my Mom, who fell and dislocated her hip two days ago (three weeks after having her artificial hip redone). She’s fine and as usual is more concerned that others were worried about her than she is about herself. She comes home from the hospital today.

We have a favor to ask of all of you. For many of you we only have email addresses; no snail mail addresses. We would love to have your mailing address. Please reply to this email when you get a chance and send me your address.

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I’ll get them added. 

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I’ve archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own wellbeing.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I’d love to try and be a resource to you.

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I’ll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do?

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you’re inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I’ll send an update in a couple of weeks to let you know how I’m doing with the new drugs.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: content

Dear Friends and Family,

It looks like I’m finally going to get to start some medication to deal with this stuff! So far, I’ve been treating symptoms with surgeries and treatments. Complications arising from the spread of the disease forced me to deal with those symptoms and not the disease.

But I got a bit of good luck. One of the drugs I’ve been hoping to get access for is a drug made by Pfizer called Sutent. It has proven promising in clinical trials and the company has made it available to patients with the disease on a compassionate use basis until they can get it through FDA approval next year some time. Unfortunately, I didn’t qualify. To make a long story short, to qualify for this usage, certain things could either qualify or disqualify you for the program.

Here’s were the luck comes in. Dr. George, the oncologist I’ve been working with at Duke University made a plea on my behalf directly to the head of clinical oncology at Pfizer and was successful at getting an exception made for my case. Very cool.

So next Thursday, I’ll be in Durham at Duke hopefully enrolling in the drug trial.

The drug is administered orally and while there can be serious side effects the possibility of some real progress against the disease is exciting.

How Are We Doing?

We’re fine and I’m obviously encouraged about the drug trial. Pandra and I celebrated our 24^th wedding anniversary earlier this week. Those that know her realize she was a child bride and that I married way over my head.

Please join me in praying for all the families facing the devastation of the recent hurricane. People’s lives will be changed forever. There is a lot of help coming their way but it will take years for those areas hardest hit to return to some semblance of normalcy. As a kid we sat in our living room with the windows boarded up and the car packed waiting for the word to evacuate because Hurricane Camille was upon us. As an adult I witnessed a couple of hurricanes in the Carolinas. The fury of wind and water is not to be believed.

I would also ask you if you can to provide financial aid if you are able. There are lots of ways to do it and even though the government will be kicking in, the assistance agencies like the Red Cross have real urgent financial needs to help these people now.

Those of you that were wondering how my cousin James did; he did fabulous. He set a personal record for fund raising (a heartfelt thank you to those of you who helped) and despite turbulent seas was pleased with his results in the race. But to give you some insight into exactly what he went through I thought I’d let him tell you so I’ve cut and pasted his thank you email to his contributors below.

Thank you very very much to all of you for making this my most successful year ever.  The outpouring of support swirled out of control this year with $3,393 from 44 total contributors!!!  I continue to get overwhelmed with emotion to think about all the support I received.  I can't say enough how truly inspired and motivated I was going into the event.  I was determined to make the race as successful in the water as it was out.    

 A little about the race. . . conditions this year were the most challenging I've seen in my three years making the journey.  I woke up on the beach to see mast lights on the boats in the bay swerving heavily (which only added to my already nervous mental state).  When the gun sounded at 6am, it was dark, cold, and we had some north-westerly wind swells coming in at 3-4' steady (my worst nightmare).  Experience was also telling me that as the day wore on the conditions would deteriorate even further as the wind kicked up (the day before as we crossed the channel by boat it was so windy it was white capping all over the ocean).  And if that wasn't enough, I got sick from the protein drink I had for breakfast!

The paddlers steered on a northerly course, which meant the waves were hitting us primarily at an angle from the left side of the bow, or front of the board, causing a great deal of instability (I was knocked off my board a number of times by incoming waves).  I was lucky to have trained fairly well to get through it as other paddlers were not as lucky and needed to be pulled from the water.  For the first four hours of the race the swells persisted and I paddled one stroke at a time because that's all I could do.  Thankfully, as I neared the R-10 buoy which is just outside Palos Verdes (about six miles to the finish line), the swells flattened out and the wind never manifested itself.  

Performance-wise I was able to exactly tie my time from last year which says a lot considering last year we had perhaps our best conditions ever (it was flat as a lake last year) coming in at 7 hours, 40 minutes.  I had somewhat of a slow start due to the infamous breakfast shake that never made it where I told it to go but I'm proud to have reeled in many a paddler and to say that no paddler was able to overtake me throughout the duration of the race.

Finally, although there were several thoughts of "can I get a time-out?" all of your support inspired me to keep going, pushing my way to the beach one stroke at a time.  Thank-you all again for making all my training efforts for this race dating back to May worthwhile where it counts in a HUGE way and for contributing to yet another successful Ocean of Hope campaign.

Best, James

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I’ll get them added. 

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I’ve archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own wellbeing.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I’d love to try and be a resource to you.

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I’ll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do?

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you’re inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I’ll send an update in a couple of weeks to let you know how I’m doing with the new drugs.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: optimistic

Current Mood: cheerful

Dear Friends and Family, 

Round two of Radio Surgery was on Tuesday. They thought there was only one new lesion in my head; as it turns out there were two. Fortunately both were small and as a result were treated. We’ll know in 4 to 6 weeks if successfully or not.

At that point, the good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise; I’ll have clear brain scans and will be able to get started on one of the two trial drugs I’ve been talking about.  

I’ve got a sore head and some fatigue, but otherwise it’s not a bad procedure at all; especially when it works. 

We’re still researching some other options, but at this point all we can do is wait for the next step.

How Are We Doing? 

I had some tremendous wine therapy in Northern California last week. There is nothing quite like sitting on a barrel in a wine cave talking to an artisan winemaker and experiencing his passion. It helps you appreciate how following one’s bliss can create contentment in one’s life. It doesn’t hurt that the wine tastes phenomenal either. Time away with friends and a chance to spend some time with my bride made it a great trip.  

School started last week so between class, homework, and football practice, Remington is covered up until at least 10:00pm every night. First game is Friday; he’s buried but seems to be enjoying it. 

Brandon had an unexpected slow spot at work so he went back to the Carolinas for a few days to celebrate a birthday with a special someone. 

Pandra manages to handle the men in her life and the challenges of her job and everything else she has to put up with exhibiting her usual style and grace. 

Okay to Share

As I shared before, if you know of someone who is not on this mailing list and would like to be added, please have them email me at jmdickson@aol.com and I’ll get them added.  

Because there are now several of these emails floating around; I’ve archived them on a web log so “newbie’s” can go back and read them from the beginning. They can be seen at

http://johns_journey.livejournal.com/ 

Secondly, these emails will be candid about what is happening because it is my hope that others can learn from my experience in terms of taking responsibility for their own wellbeing.

If you have a question about what’s happening to me or something in your own life that I may be able to help with; email me, I’d love to try and be a resource to you. 

Finally, if getting periodic emails about what is going on is uncomfortable, I understand. Just email and I’ll be happy to take you off the distribution list.

What Can You Do? 

We continue to be blessed daily with well wishes, prayers, and incredible acts of thoughtfulness; we feel so blessed, humbled, and honored by your friendship. I continue to ask you for the following:

• If you’re inclined to pray, we would be honored to have you pray for wisdom and strength, healing, patience, and humor as we go through this. Your prayers are a daily source of encouragement.

• If you see a good joke, or cartoon, or an inspirational story, anything that could make my day brighter; please share it with me. 

• Life is for living, laughing, and loving. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell the people that you belong to that you love them, or do the thing that your heart desires.

I’ll send an update in a couple of weeks unless something else pops up.

John, Pandra, Remington, Brandon and Buddy the Wonder Dog

5709 Danmire Court

Plano, TX 75093

Current Mood: content